If your in a relationship you will benefits from these secrets by talking about them and listening together. If your women it might be useful to help you explain how to better communicate to the man in your life why you do the things you do.
If you are a guy and you have had a long day at work, the last thing you likely feel like doing is talking about. But the message that you women gets is if you don’t want to talk to me about it then your not interested in connecting with me… “why don’t you care?”
Women love to talk, no reason necessary. Men need a reason /problem/outcome for them to be interested in the conversation so we have a huge disconnect between women wanting to talk and create intimacy this way while men want to avoid it or relax.
The process of talking for women is itself the outcome rather than their having to be one or talk about a specific goal. Women see the benefits in the growth of the relationship gained by talking, men struggle to see this benefit.
There need not be a “reason” to talk or a goal, the point is to bond.
Lets put it this way :
She says “we need to talk”
you reply with “why have I done something wrong?”
Next situation later that night:
You say “lets have sex”
She says “why? Do we need to make a baby?”
Understandably this is an extreme example and the “we need to talk” phrase is often used just before a verbal argument begins but you get my point. If you don’t understand that women do need connection through regular conversation.
It is tough for guys to really want to talk because we see no reason to talking when a
conversation has no goal associated,
Women Are Process Oriented – Men are Goal Oriented
Is it inefficient to talk when no obvious benefit comes directly from the conversation?
Maybe we as guys are not so great at connecting with emotion as quickly as women
Sometimes talking itself can seem laboured and coming up with new things to say immediately just seems hard. Women seem and on the whole, just better at talking than men so the “conversation” just ends up being a time where the man listens to the women…
Hardly worth your time and far from interesting I am sure your thinking.
Here in lies the problem, men on top of being poor communicators so little value in talking in depth with their partner unless there is some value or direction.
Men use the process internalisation of thinking and externalisation of the end result of the thinking. So that the only thing they are saying is what they are clear about. Reasons for this are to ensure they do not come across weak by saying something silly or false.
The thing is though guys its better to talk about your emotions poorly than to not talk much at all. Remember you are talking to your partner here so no one is judging. Ask her if there is anything specific so that you can narrow down your train of thought.
Also remember that if you are committed to connecting and establishing intimacy through talking then she will be MUCH more open to intimacy in the bedroom.
Stay tuned for the next secret about how: Women think and feel out loud and how you can deal with all the mindless chatter that drives you mad
Go do yourself a favor and download yourself a free trial of the online eBook “Double Your Dating”, and read it.
It contains literally DOZENS and dozens of great techniques for you to use that will make women feel ATTRACTION for you.
(By the way, on page 96 of my eBook I share another KILLER tip about how to impress a woman, without trying to.
This one tip corrects a deadly mistake almost EVERY man makes with women – you’ll see what I mean…)